My core values

My core values

Life is good when the decisions we make and the way we act match our values.

But when our decisions do not align with our values and beliefs, that is when we start feeling like something’s ‘wrong’. This can lead to unhappiness and frustration.

Choices we make can significantly impact our lives

If you value your family but your job requires you to work a 60 hour week, then your job will cause conflict in your relationships and stresses in your life.

It is helpful in situations like these to understand our values. When we have a good understanding of our values, we can use them to make important life decisions and choices.

Understanding our values and what it means to us will help us answer questions such as:

  • Should I leave my job?
  • Should I accept this job promotion?
  • Should I compromise my standards?
  • Should I start my business?
  • Should I follow my cultural tradition or take a new path in life?

We must, therefore, make a real effort to identify what our values are.

These are things that we believe are important concerning how we live our lives. They should guide our priorities in life and determine how much time we need to spend in that activity. They could also be measures we use to determine if life is heading in the direction that we want it to.

The best way to start doing this is to reflect on your life. Then identify the times when you felt positive and confident that you were making good choices.

The steps are set out below.

  • Step 1 – Identify times in your life when you were at your happiest. Find examples from your life, your career, and other areas of your life.
    • What were you doing?
    • Were you with other people? Who?
    • What factors contributed to your happiness?
  • Step 2 – Identify times in your life when you were most proud. Find examples from your life, your career, and other areas of your life.
    • Why were you proud?
    • Did other people share your pride? Who?
    • What factors contributed to this feeling of pride?
  • Step 3 – Identify times in your life when you felt most fulfilled and satisfied. Find examples from your life, your career, and other areas of your life.
    • What need or desire was fulfilled?
    • How did this experience give you real meaning or self-worth?
    • What other factors contributed to this fulfilment or self-worth?
  • Step 4 – Determine your most important values, based on your experiences of peace and joy. Consider why each experience is so memorable and important?

Use the list of common personal values (see below) to help you get started. Aim for approximately 10 top values.