Breaking past emotional roadblocks and developing your true confidence
It’s really frightening to see so many people are having their confidence literally smashed for various reasons. They also got their motivation and inspiration squashed as a result.
There’s really no reason why people should be in this state.
There are many strategies and techniques available to completely change and transform our lives. These tools can help us get past all emotional blocks.
As all lasting change is emotional rather than intellectual, you actually have to experience something very powerful and meaningful in order to go through this transformation.
The thing is that you can only create a future that is bigger than your current and past is when you have moved on from your past.
The hardest thing for most people to do is to break free from their past to create a bigger and better positive future.
To do so, you must eliminate all the things that have been distracting you from achieving your greatness. Hopefully, you can get to where you want to go a lot faster when you start focusing on the future rather than the past.
It is important that you emotionally experience real momentum and stay in momentum throughout your life.
Confronting your fears will be vital in the process. Overcoming your doubt is another.
Here’s the thing.
If you don’t take any action, there is nothing to gain. Absolutely nothing.
It really doesn’t matter how busy you are. You can totally transform your life in a very short time.
That’s why new year’s resolutions could never work at a biological and psychological level.
Likewise, most self-help resources and books get things wrong. They are going to fail.
Your environment and who you are, are completely connected. You can ask for more energy and clarity just by doing simple things like getting into your car.
So, how can you change your mindset to experience something very powerful and meaningful? How can you create an environment that enables success to happen?
The reality is that people do tend to suppressed blocks, trauma, and emotions. They are not willing to deal with them. Blocks, trauma, and emotions freeze their personalities.
They get stuck in the past.
They can’t integrate new experiences into their lives.
They think that it’s just who they are.
They’re totally locked and stuck in the past.
They’re just living from their memories.
When we want to do something new, we put ourselves in a new environment. It then starts to feel like we are stepping out of our current setting, our current comfort zone, our current environment.
Unfortunately, our bodies don’t like to do anything new. They just like to do the same things over and over again.
Then we get stuck because we’re living in the past. Our bodies just want to experience the same emotional experience as yesterday.
People who are living in their past are not living in their desired future.
The reason is that our brains really want to predict the future more than anything else. But our brains will keep us away from doing the things that can help us break free.
That’s why our actions and experiences of today can often predict our actions of tomorrow.
Uncertainty is the foundation of all fears.
Uncertainty freaks people out.
Doing something that we don’t actually know or don’t know what’s going to happen is the worst thing that can happen to us.
As a result, we aren’t growing and learning and having transformational experiences.
If we were to step outside our comfort zone, we will experience discomfort.
Without a doubt, we can learn so much more when our brain experience change.
Therefore, it’s all in the mind.
It’s all about learning and mindset rather than doing.
People are just consuming information without truly experiencing failures that can shift their brain.
We need new experiences so that we will never go back to our old habits.
We literally need new experiences to change our biology, our thinking, and our learning.
Unfortunately, as people age, they stop learning. They become more and more predictable and complacent.
The only way we can live is to continuously grow.
The only way we can grow is when we regularly change.
The only way we can change is when we learn.
The only way we can learn is when we’re exposed to new things constantly.
The only way we can become exposed to new things is when we are open to it and take a risk!
Therefore, welcome all experiences, good or bad. You never know which ones will transform you into greatness!
Swimmers, for example, can train themselves to last more than five minutes without breathing. Exercises help them hold on to their breath for much longer while swimming underwater.
Our brains need new things constantly. Otherwise, our bodies will be caught in destructive cycles.
Most people think that their personality is what creates their behaviours. But it’s not our personalities that create our behaviours.
Actually, it is our behaviours that create your personalities.
As humans, we can change our behaviours and habits IF we really want to.
When we change our mindset with powerful learning and actions, we can quite literally transform our personalities and reset our behaviours by doing new and different things.
New behaviours create new motions and actions. They shape our biology.
Our bodies will either adapt or it’s going to try to go back to its original emotional safety.
Hence, we need to reinforce our new behaviours constantly.
An individual’s will-power will NOT reinforce our new behaviours.
It is only the environment and community around us that truly matters. And it’s all about the design. It’s about our intentional and deliberate actions.
And when we don’t have a powerful but profound WHY (or our reason for existence or purpose in life), our will-power will never be enough to transform us into greatness.
We have to intentionally design our environment to have the right motivation. Then we will make powerful and profound life-changing decisions.
One of the reasons why people are procrastinators is because they don’t have enough pressure to move forward or because they don’t know how to do the next thing.
The key is to eliminate the need for feeble human will-power. It’s about cutting off all other routes to failure or sources of fears.
And when we get very comfortable with uncertainties in our life and having high tolerances for ambiguity, we actually embrace uncertainty.
Then our brains will want more.
When we can get uncomfortable constantly doing things that might not work, we get comfortable doing things in the unknown.
That’s the best place to learn, to change behaviours, and to flourish in the midst of chaos.
We already know that many people will not be able to maintain the required motivation to make permanent changes that they actually want.
Their environment will keep them stuck in their old ways, their old habits, and their old behaviours.
They don’t really understand how motivation and confidence work. They’re not going to keep their new year’s resolutions because they keep reverting back to their old familiar ways.
They all got bad environments.
They don’t really understand how their bodies and their emotions and motivation work.
They don’t understand how high performance works.
They are maintaining an environment that makes them totally unhappy.
Their environment literally conflicts with their dreams, goals, and values.
While they are pursuing big enough goals, they actually feel excited. But they are not making enough progress. And they don’t have the confidence and motivation to succeed.
So, how do we stay continuously motivated for 365 days of the year?
Confidence is something we intentionally create and maintain.
Confidence is the by-product of how we successful behave when we wake up in the morning, and when we start doing first things first.
Start by pursuing something huge, starting with your big WHY.
Do something bigger and more meaningful than anything you have ever done before.
When your future is always bigger than your past, you have to actually figure out and build confidence and motivation on it. You have to learn how to develop new skills and focus on the results you want to achieve.
If you’re not actually getting results, you’re not forced to succeed out of necessity.
You should be taking the time to pause and reflect back at your life you’re designing – your ideal future.
It is causing you to reflect on your huge goals.
By taking action, you are also activating your behaviour.
You’re reinforcing your results in your environment and within your community.
Remember that it is actually our actions and behaviours that will drive our personalities and success.
Basically, you’re deeply immersed in something by trying to achieve your big WHY. Then you reflect back and look at your life that you are intentionally designing. Then you re-establish where you’re going, your destination and your WHY.
What happens when you start doing that consistently?
Every so often (say every 90 days), you are actively taking on these big challenges. At the end of the period, you’re stepping back and recovering from it. Hopefully, you have made huge gains.
This is really how you can achieve your 5-year plan in small bite-size chunks.
Most people have dreams.
You have to ask where you’re currently at now. It’s all about just being radically honest with yourself, being conscious with your present circumstances.
Without a doubt, a lot of people spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to realise that when they get to the top, the ladder has been leaning against the wrong wall.
By constantly assessing your life, you can be really honest with yourself so that you continuously pivot yourself toward success that is aligned with your big WHY.
You should continuously see whether you are walking in the right direction. Otherwise, you are pursuing someone else’s goals.
You can’t measure what you can’t manage.
That’s why it’s so crucial to actually take the time to assess where your life is going, where is your life right now, and whether it is facing the wrong direction.
Do measure where you’re at right now. Then you will know your priorities in life. Do give yourself an honest diagnosis.
It is easy to be too caught up in other things.
Frankly, it’s actually great to know that things are falling apart because you are not investing enough time and energy into that.
If you can’t get honest about where you’re at now, then you have no starting point to succeed in the future.
Many people actually believe that their life is going in the right direction when it’s been going in the wrong direction for many years.
The nice part about being really honest with yourself is that you know the starting point. When performances are tracked and measured, the information you collect about your performance can show you how to improve yourself.
Then again, this is where most people get uncomfortable.
Most people are not really honest with themselves.
Most people are not going into deep dives just to know where they’re at. And then compare where they’ve been.
This is why it’s actually so important for people to think that success is about moving forward.
Unfortunately, people can’t psychologically detach from their work. They are constantly thinking about work.
When people are going in the wrong direction, they need to get clarity through self-diagnose.
They need to step away.
They need to learn how to unplug from work.
When we do that, we have way more engagement in life.
We can have more work-life balance and more satisfaction in health.
Perhaps you need to step away from your phone for a while because the use of phones increases stress and anxiety.
In order to self-diagnose, you need to give yourself space regularly.
You should take breaks regularly to psychologically detach from work.
Every 3 months, you should give yourself a huge break where you can just step away and let things go.
Apart from space, we need detachment to focus on your dreams and your family, on the things that really matter to you.
You must learn how to declutter your life and focus on the things only matter to you.
This is how we stay fit to deliver the results we want.
In order to deliver true measurable results, we need to assess where we are at now and where we’re going.
Just by doing this one exercise and every three months giving yourself lots of space to detach from the work and busyness and reconnect constantly with your WHY, you’re actually pursuing big things.