Improve your relationships by understanding your money personalities
I am a great fan of personality testing because it gives me valuable insights into my personality. It also gives me fantastic insights into my relationship with my money, my team members at work, and my wife and children at home.
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is one of the most popular diagnostic self-assessment tool. It can help me identify my personality type. It can reveal things that I need to work on for improved relationships with people, things, and our environment.
Long-term strategies can then be implemented to create better relationships. This ensures that we stay on course to be a better person in our workplace and at home.
Often times we can be blind-sighted by our own shortcomings. We are unable to see ourselves unless someone else tells us about it.
Disagreements about money
We know that disagreements about money can result in poor relationships, breakups, or even divorces amongst couples.
By understanding and appreciating each other’s different money personalities, we can intentionally strengthen our relationships with our partners.
Rather than being upset and all worked up, when we understand each other better, you can respond appropriately. Knowing how your partner thinks about money and reacts to your personality is equally important.
In relationships, opposites do attract. Different personalities do usually attract to each other.
Because of personality differences, much work is required to understand each other’s personality.
Tools like MBTI can certainly help us navigate through this journey of self-discovery.
How money personality works
Let me use an example to illustrate this point.
When your Protector partner says, “We can’t afford a vacation,” what he is actually saying is that, “I’m worried that we will not have enough money to pay our bills.“
If you are a Pleaser, you may be thinking, “What’s the point of having all that money during our old age if we have no great memories to share during our younger days?“
Money disagreements between Protectors and Pleasers may lead to resentment and bitterness. He wants to save money for the future, while you want to spend money now.
His response is not about the vacation you had proposed to him earlier. He’s not saying that your vacation idea is bad.
As a Protector, he is just naturally worried about both of your finances.
That’s just who he is. That’s the personality you were attracted to in the first place. (And you can’t change him overnight!)
Here’s the thing.
Understanding how he thinks and responds will go a long way in your relationship with him.
Seek first to know him.
When you understand your own personality in relation to his, you are able to find a constructive response that creates a win-win outcome for both of you. There’s no need for great arguments.
Insights about your money personality
The MBTI personality type self-assessment will provide valuable insights into how the other person views money.
When we know how the other person feels about money, we can navigate past the reactive and think about positive outcomes. We are focused on finding a mutually acceptable solution or a compromise that takes into account each other’s personalities.
There will be an element of giving and take.
Unfortunately, some personality types find it hard to give in. While others just want to give in just to maintain some harmony.
It’s just how we are uniquely wired.
But this doesn’t mean that you should just give in. Nor does it mean that you should power up to fight your own impulses.
Rather, both of you should acknowledge your differences without judgment. You should aim to move forward positively in a way that’s realistic, practical, and acceptable.
Both of you need to feel validated and heard.
Therefore, it’s so important to validate our feelings and impulses around our attitudes toward money.
Use your preferred self-diagnosis tool. For me, it’s MBTI.
Keeping things in perspective
MBTI’s validity as a psychometric instrument has always been the subject of much criticism and debate. Please do keep in mind that none of these observations has to be stereotypes or limitations that determine or define a person’s personality.
MBTI is only a type indicator. It is not a definitive verdict on someone’s true personality.
People are unique and complex.
They don’t fall into easily defined categories. We are trying to categorise something that is very complex. Not one tool will do this accurately and satisfactorily.
MBTI descriptions are simply generalisations about someone’s personality type. As with all generalisations, there will be exceptions and out-liners.
Like any tool or instrument, there will always be limitations or weaknesses.
Do you ever question the validity or accuracy of the equipment that your doctor uses to give you the medical results? Have you asked your doctor about its accuracy level?
Instead, let us look at the positives rather than the negatives.
For me, there is no better alternative tool to MBTI that could give me an insight as to how I am likely to respond to life’s challenges.
I hope that you can use the MBTI results for what it is worth to expand your understanding about yourself, your behaviour and preferences, and improve your relationship with others around you.
With better understanding and insights, you are able to put in place the relevant strategies to manage and improve your relationships.
But if you feel more comfortable with another personality assessment or tool, please feel free to use them.
Unlike the mountains of materials related to MBTI, there may not be many related materials that you could draw on if you use other self-assessment tools.
You need both results and application to make changes to your behaviour.
Sometimes my doctor will order a number of tests so she can arrive at a conclusion.
Likewise, you may want to use MBTI with other “test” to arrive at a better picture or more accurate conclusion about yourself. These additional tests may give you different perspectives and insights about yourself.
They all collectively contribute to your personal understanding.
As a quick validity test, if your MBTI results do resonate 100% with what you already know about yourself, then you know that MBTI is the right tool for you.