Training objective
The objective of this practical and simplified mini-training video is to show you the ABCs of how to live a purpose-driven life.
What you’ll learn
About the five regrets of the drying and how to avoid one common regret by living a purpose-driven life that is true to yourself.
Transcript
[Slide 3] Top five regrets of the dying
One of the most common regrets, when people are faced with their mortality, is that “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
This is one of the top five regrets of the dying as discovered by Bronnie Ware when she was working in palliative care. The five regrets have been documented in her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.
The other four regrets of the dying are:
1. “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.“
2. “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”
3. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
4. “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
Let’s begin with the end in mind and start with a clear understanding of your destination. Know where you’re going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.
It’s incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, in the busyness of life, to work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of success only to discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall. It is possible to be busy, very busy, without being very effective.
Living a purposeful life requires you to be true to yourself. It requires you to have the courage to intentionally creating the opportunities now so that you can live a purposeful life in the future that will be true to yourself.
Live life for yourself, not for others.
The ABCs of living a purposeful life for yourself requires you to:
1. Anchor your destination.
2. Be true to yourself.
3. Close the gaps.
[Slide 4] Anchor your destination
For people who are prone to motion sickness, that woozy, lightheaded, nauseous feeling when you get when moving in a car, ship, plane, or train, traveling is no fun at all. It is estimated that one in three people are susceptible to motion sickness.
The good news is that you can train your brain to be far less susceptible to motion sickness with the help of simple visuospatial exercises.
It’s a fact that looking at and keeping the horizon in sight, but not staring at it, while on a ship physically stabilizes your body and reduces seasickness. In using the horizon as your point of reference, your body adjusts to the new movements. This action gives your brain important information to help its predictive system to adapt to the ship’s movement.
Standing with your legs further apart can also help with further stabilizing your body.
Having a reference point, or a destination, and continuously focusing and keeping this destination in your sight while stabilizing your body, or course-correcting, will increase the likelihood of a smoother journey or living a more enjoyable life.
Unfortunately, it is so easy to be caught up with the daily pressures of life, being caught up with the busyness of life, and constantly fighting fires of daily living challenges, that you can miss living a purposeful life. You may even feel regretful at your death bed and be like many who have said, “I wish I’d dared to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
The destination that you choose must be there to inspire you to set out on the journey. It is your vision and end goal. In between, there are smaller destinations and a lot of traveling, pivoting, and experimentation. Reaching your destination is just a moment in time but traveling towards your destination is every moment in time.
You need to anchor your sights towards this destination as a future reference point. Otherwise, your journey in life will become very unpleasant, unmemorable, or even regretful due to feelings of ‘seasickness’.
This destination could be your purpose and identity. It could be your career or family aspirations.
Whatever it is, it is a picture of success that you want to aspire to.
Therefore, find your purpose and identity. Determine what future success looks like for you. Create career opportunities for yourself. Take a career risk to fulfill your aspirations. Be true to yourself and start living the life you want, purposefully and intentionally.
Whatever destination you choose, constantly anchor your eyes on it. Keep adjusting or course-correcting your actions along the journey towards achieving the goals that you have set for yourself.
[Slide 5] Be true to yourself
Life is a journey, not a destination.
Knowing your destination will provide that point of reference in your life that is so vital for living purposefully as you journey through life and challenges.
When you have anchored your life towards a particular destination that you desire to achieve, you can find your true self again.
In journeying through life, be true to yourself. Celebrate the real you, the person you are, when you journey towards that destination.
When you are true to yourself, you allow your individuality and uniqueness to shine through. You respect the opinions of others. But you do not conform to stereotypes or the expectations of others.
Being true to yourself takes courage and commitment. It requires you to be introspective, sincere, open-minded, and fair.
Many people struggle with being true to themselves, unfortunately. Whether it’s because of expectations, insecurities, a fear of change, or a thousand other reasons, you cannot seem to look in the mirror and like what you see there.
Being true to yourself is about opening the door of possibility, self-fulfillment, integrity, and happiness. Without a true sense of wholesome identity and self-honesty, it is entirely impossible to be truly happy. It’s so easy to become passive, reacting to life, rather than controlling your destiny.
Instead of continuing to get to know yourself, to explore the world, and achieve the things that you want to achieve, have adventures you want to have, it is so easy to be passive and aimlessly drift through life.
So, stop caring what other people think. No one’s opinion matters but yours.
If you want to start practicing ballet, even though you think you’re much too old for it and everyone will think you’re dumb, forget those people. If you’re encountering a lot of negative feedback from a person in your path to self-fulfillment, you might want to double-check the toxicity level of that relationship. You don’t need negative, hurtful people in your life. Their opinions should go straight out the window.
The only way to get to know yourself and who you are and what you want is to take yourself out and spend time alone with you. Not in front of a movie screen, not stuck to a phone screen, not in front of a laptop screen.
Spend real, quality time with yourself. Go get a latte and go for a walk. Go for a bike ride. Go sit by the pool and sip some iced tea. Go hiking. Go explore. Go to a museum. Go do something.
Turn off the cellphone and just be with yourself. In the world of technology that we live in, it’s so easy to give in to the compulsion to constantly distract yourself.
You can become uncomfortable just being alone with your thoughts!
Journaling can be the best way to get in touch with yourself. You’ll discover things you didn’t even know about yourself. Sometimes it’s scary; sometimes it’s wonderful; sometimes it’s powerful.
Grow to look forward to your journaling time. It’s like having a conversation with yourself and with God.
Always permit yourself to do what you want to do. It’s so easy to hesitate, or to make up excuses not to do something – don’t have enough time; it’s too hard; don’t have the money. And the list goes on.
Put all of that aside. Do what you want to do.
You are your own worst enemy when it comes to achieving things that are wonderful or purposeful. You are the only thing preventing yourself from achieving something.
Finally, the more you love yourself, the more you will be true to yourself. The more you are true to yourself, the more you grow to love yourself.
You cannot be true to yourself if you do not like yourself. If you do not like yourself, find out why.
[Slide 6] Close the gaps
Now that you know your destination in life, have the desire and commitment to achieve success and wanting to be true to yourself, it is time to act and close those gaps to live a purpose-driven life.
Change is difficult.
Creating opportunities for yourself can be difficult.
Taking risks and stepping outside your comfort zone can be difficult.
As we are not created equal, find ways to get things done based on your personality, work styles, and circumstances.
Every personality has strengths and weaknesses. Know yours. Take advantage of your strengths and create an outcome for yourself while overcoming your weaknesses. There are people around who can help you.
As with all personality types, there is no right or wrong. There are people-oriented personalities who thrive on building relationships and community. And there are task-oriented personalities who thrive on getting things done. Both personality types are important. You need a balance of both personalities within yourself and your home to succeed.
If you have a task-orientated personality, it is easier to find and anchor your destination and act to be true to yourself.
On the other hand, if you are strongly people-oriented, you may need to figure out ways to balance your people focus with your desire to get things done and live a purposeful life.
Get your spouse and children involved in your purposeful living. Look for opportunities to get things done in smaller chunks rather than saving them all up to do at once. Use your time wisely to focus on creating a positive future for yourself, one that you will not be regretful of when faced with mortality.
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